Hi,

Sorry for the delay in updating but I'm clearing up the million and one things that got neglected in real life due to this.

Final Update (17/11/09)

Mum has had her mastectomy and is feeling sore and somewhat 'mutilated'(her word) but apparently this is quite normal and means her mind needs to readjust to her body image. She'll be getting a silicn prosthesis soon, and hopefully that will help as she won't be flkat on one side any more to outside observers.

She had the pathology results a week ago, it's all clear. All she needs to do now is have a mammogram every year on her remaining breast to keep an eye on it, as there is a one in three risk of getting it in her remaining breast. We're not gonna dwell on that, we ARE going to concentrate on the fact that the cancer was caught in time, so there's no effect on Mum's life expectancy or anything. Again, thank you to all those (of every faith) who prayed and for everyone who was thinking of us and for your good wishes. You are all stars, and Mum said to thank you as your messages of support were a great comfort to the family.

to you all!

Got another update on the mother situation...

8/10/09

UPDATE.

Well, there is good news and bad news regarding my mother.

The bad news is that it is a form of cancer and my mother will be undergoing a mastectomy, the surgical removal of a breast. The good news is that it is what ios termed DCIS, or ductal carcinoma in situ. In plain English, this means that it is a form of cancer, in one of my mother's ducts, but it is non-invasive, it has not breached the duct and extended into the surrounding tissue. It does need to be removed, or it could become invasive, but at this stage it is not life threatening and the risk of return is one in four. Mum will likely be monitored more often to watch out for this. Once the mastectomy is done, that should be it. she won't need radiation or drugs, it was found in time. Her operation will take place ojn the 23rd October.

As you can all imagine, this is a great relief to the whole family. Once again, let me extend our great gratitude to everybody who prayed for Mum and exended their best wishes. Your continued support and encouragement, prayers and thoughts have been much appreciated.

Once again, thank you all so, so much for your kindness, understanding, and support during this stressful time.

28/9/09

UPDATE.

My mother got a letter today asking her to go back to the hospital on 08/10/09. She is trying to reassure me (and herself) that they just want to give her the all-clear, but she is fooling nobody, least of all herself. The hospital are not going to ask her to travel the thirty-odd miles to the hospital just to tell her she's clear, so I am assuming some cancerous cells have been found. I will be going back to visit her for just over a wek in two days, and will be being strong for her.

What this will do re: my writing I do not know. I may lose myself in fan fiction, and turn out more, to keep my mind off it, or I may lose all inspiration and write less or nothing at all. Can I ask a favour of any who read this? Could you send me a PM or email with a message of support for my mother? People did this eight years ago when she had pleurisy and it cheered her up and put a smile on her face. She was very touched to receive best-wishes messages from people who didn't now her and God knows, she needs something to smile about.

Both my mother and I are Christians. If you are Christian (or any other faith) could you please add my mum to your prayer list, and if you are agnostic/atheist/no faith could you think of her and keep your fingers crossed for her?

Thank you all very much for being understanding. Huggles to all.

Okay, I'm telling you all this so that if I'm not around for a bit or seem off in the NuckingFutz Party, you know why, and to please cut me some slack as a result..

I found out on 21st August that my mother has two areas of pre-cancerous cells in her breast. It may even be cancerous as there are two distinct spots close to each other. My mother and I are very close, she counts among my best friends, so I'm really very worried and frightened for her. Her side of the family has a family history of breast cancer, 2 aunts and her mother had it, so I'm understandably concerned.

She's having an op to remove a quarter of her breast on 15th September, if any cancerous cells are find she'll lose the rest of the breast (right) and the lymph nodes under the arm in a procedure known as a radical mastectomy. So if I seem off or don't reply to notes or something, or seem cursory, my apologies, life's kinda biting me bad at the mo.

So yeah, I really feel like shit at the moment. I am so fucked up right now I don't know what I'll feel like from one moment to the next. So yeah, if I say something or go off into tears or angry outbursts or whatever, please forgive me I'm under a lot of stress at the moment.

To completely change the subject...

Okay, I found this little quiz on 's journal and decided it looked like so much fun I'd give it a go..Primus knows I need something to smile about... so here goes!

1. Put your music player on shuffle
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. You're not allowed to cheat !
4. Tag 5 people (or how many you want, it's really not that important).
5. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.


**clicking**


HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
Kind of appropriate I guess....

WILL YOU GET FAR IN LIFE?
Hundered Mile High - Ocean Colour Scene
Ummm......I think I was asking for distance as opposed to altitude...

HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS SEE YOU?
Mourning Air - Portishead
Well I'm not mourning, more scared, but still...

WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
You Ain't seen Nothing Yet -Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Well, that sounds promising...scary but promising...

WHAT IS YOUR BEST FRIEND'S THEME SONG?
Before It's Too Late - Goo Goo Dolls
Funny enough I think that's kind of appropriate...and at the moment, it's mine too....

WHAT IS THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE?
Sam On the Roof - Transformers 2007 Score
This too is pretty accurate, at least where mt school life was concerned..cornered and on the run, although with me it's my peers attacking me, not a 31ft homicidal robot...)

WHAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL LIKE?
Bomber - Motorhead
Errrrr...........I guess I dis start getting a bit "farty" round then...LOL..

HOW CAN YOU GET AHEAD IN LIFE?
No Sacrifice, No Victory - Transformers Score
Well, that's me told, isn't it?

WHAT IS THE BEST THING ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?
Downtown Battle
Well, I guess it means I have mates who will brawl with me if it ever becomes neccessaty...

WHAT IS IN STORE FOR THIS WEEKEND?
London Underground - Unknown artist
Actually, as I'll be back in London this weekend, that too is spookily accurate...D

THE BEST THING TO DESCRIBE YOUR GRANDPARENTS?
Take It Off The Top - The Dixie Dregs
Not sure what to make of that.....

HOW IS YOUR LIFE GOING?
The Final Countdown - Europe
Oh God that's depressing...I still have too much to DO...Next!

WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Bumblebee - Transformers Score
Well, that's an interesting idea.....

HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE YOU?
Bizarro-Sephiroph - Nobuo Uematsu
A PS1 game uber-boss? Uhhhhmmm....

WILL YOU HAVE A HAPPY LIFE?
Eloise - The Damnned
*headdesks*

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS REALLY THINK OF YOU?
Second To None - Mike Shinoda-Transformers Soundtrack
Wow, that's heartwarming....

DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER YOU?
Retina And The Sky - Idiot Pilot - Transformers Soundtrack
Ummm...are we going back to Seekers again her- *Bins that thought*

HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?
Sowing The Seeds Of Love - Tears For Fears
D'awww!

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE?
The Transformers (theme) - Lion - Transformers - The Movie (1986 animated)
So, my current obsession means I'm headed in the right direction?

WILL YOU EVER HAVE CHILDREN?
Word Up - Gun
Okay, not sure what to make of this....

WHAT IS YOUR DEEP DARK SECRET?
I'm Not In Love - 10cc
Ouch...I think my boyfriend would beg to differ....

WHAT IS YOUR MORTAL ENEMY'S THEME SONG?
Black Betty - Ram Jam
I'm not even going to try and work this out...

WHAT IS YOUR PERSONALITY LIKE?
Addicted To Love - Robert Palmer
My MP3 has the completely wrong idea about me, it really doesn't know me at all, does it?

Okay, some of those were eerily close to the mark..others were way off.

Well, I hope to speak to you all later!

A=T

GREAT FRIENDS I WATCH:



OTHER FRIENDS AND PEOPLE I WATCH: